Can You Be Both Lovers & Friends?
For men, an optimal relationship would be being both friends and lovers at the same time. A man would happily become intimate with any one of his girl pals. Men also have the notion that a friendship with a woman can and will at some point trigger a romantic relationship. MAN, YOU ARE SO WRONG!
Men like to think that women are like them in the sense that they use friendships to kick start relationships or keep possible mates as pals in case or until they are ready. Men also like to think that if you become pals first, it will give you inner access to the woman so you can begin to work on her. MAN, YOU ARE SO WRONG AGAIN!
For women, being friends and lovers are two entirely different things. One can bring on the other, but it is ultra rare. That is why it is so hard to become more than pals with a woman that's been your pal for a long period of time. When you first engage and interact with a woman, she categorizes you as possible mate material or "other." If she categorizes you as other, it is really hard to change her mind.
Unlike men, that would get with anyone that shows a modicum of interest towards them, women first should feel an emotional draw towards a man to get with them. Without this emotional draw, a woman will not classify you as possible lover material and you are doomed to be forever stuck in the friend zone.
This is also why it is so hard to cross over from the friend zone into the lover zone with a woman. Without an emotional draw towards you, a woman will not just simply get with you solely because you display an interest towards her. In her mind, you are a friend that she has no intimate emotions toward. If you attempt to bridge this gap, she will most likely feel repulsed and resentful.
So if you're friends with a woman and you want more, what can you do? Confess your love towards her? Treat her extra special? Be the best friend somebody can ever have? Shower her with extravagant gifts and affection? Wrong! The super carefully guarded secret that relationship masters charge extravagant amounts of money for is this: You have to create an emotional spark within a woman to get her to like you. This emotion is not love or lust or an overwhelming desire to have your babies. It is just simply intrigue ...
So how do you create intrigue? You create intrigue by withholding attention and interest towards her. By pulling back and being aloof, you create a mysterious air about yourself that will get her thinking. Also, you raise your value by not pursuing the woman and you will appear less needy. If you've been acting like a fantastically good friend to her and you unexpectedly shift tactics and withhold attention, the woman will have to work for YOUR attention.
Naturally, the best thing to do is not get in the friend zone in the first place because contrary to popular belief, it is super hard to escalate from the friend zone to the lover zone. The greatest way to not end up in the friend zone is quick escalation of kino, which means to break that touch barrier early. Unless you genuinely want a girl for a friend and nothing else, DO NOT become friends. From the beginning, build an emotional spark within her by being interesting and intriguing.
The super carefully protected secret to getting any woman you wish is to first create an emotional draw and then to display a lack of interest. This makes the woman subconsciously want to pursue you. This is the renowned pickup artist technique called, "push and pull."